When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons, you make some frickin’ lemonade. This is me making lemonade. Sweet sweet lemonade. Those past 2 months and this past week specifically have been the most hectic and mentally and emotionally draining weeks possibly of my entire life. First of all, if you’re one of my friends or family members and have stuck with me all throughout this past period of time, I’m sorry for being such an emotional roller coaster and hats off for being there and for sticking through, y’all the real MVPs. So let’s break this down. To say that I am someone whose life has flipped 180 degrees this past year is definitely an understatement. To put it simply, I’ve changed jobs, people, life, standards, beliefs, thoughts, dreams, aspirations (some even multiple times) and have had the first actual encounter of having to deal with the death of someone I actually cared about. Apparently, this can have a toll on you mentally and consequently physically. Go figure. This past month I started experiencing the worst physical symptoms I could ever imagine. It all started out as mental and emotional and then shit went through the fan when it all turned physical. The symptoms were so subtle at first but then escalated and escalated until it was too much to handle. The challenge was trying to explain all these symptoms to people because they were so understandable to me and so unimaginable that people just made me feel crazy when I explained them to them. Even those closest to me. I would just start with ‘ok please don’t think I’m lying or that I’m crazy…” and then I’d start explaining. I think they did think I was crazy. Dana and Mama, thank you. You were the two I was explaining the craziest things to and you stuck it through. Shukran. When things got too much to handle two weeks ago, I became a lab rat. Trying to figure out what was wrong. I think I am Biolab’s favorite customer now, or least favorite, I wasn’t that friendly, I think I should get them flowers or something. Turns out all the crap I was going through was all due to stress. Stress and anxiety can mess up your entire life. Apparently they can mess you up mentally and physically. Like seriously mess you up. Thankfully and alf alf il hamdulilah, everything is now ok and I have decided that stress is now my number one enemy and I am going to fight it any way I know how. Now we come to talking about having to treat yoself. I’m not talking about treat yoself in the buy all the crap you want, no. What I mean is that you need to actually take care of yourself, take care of your mental health, your physical health, take care of yourself like you would take care of the person you love the most in the world, because ultimately, who do you have other than yourself? I’ve decided that I need to get my life in order, re-organize the whole thing. Decide what matters and what doesn’t. Who matters and who doesn’t. Things and people who matter will be there, all else will be eliminated. Because what this whole mess has done to me I do not wish upon my worst enemy. Stick to the things I love, the people I love, the people who love me, and remove any toxicity. Don’t hold on to things that don’t want to stay, I just can’t. God has a plan for me and whatever I do, I can’t change it. I’m the planner kind of person who goes crazy when things don’t go the way I want, so no more. You do whatever you can and you genuinely have a belief inside your heart that God will work things out for you, everything. He knows best. I laid all these things out to see the good and the bad. What’s amazing is all the things that bring me joy that that are to the left are just so much more than the ones on the right. Al hamdulilah. There are so many reasons for me to be happy and stress-free and those are the things I must focus on in life. And most importantly, just think of how much better I have it than so many other people, let that be an incentive to make you fall in love with yourself and your life. You should know that all of you over here reading this are a huge part of the reasons for me to be happy and also, thank you. You’ve also been reading all throughout this emotional roller coaster. I love you.

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5 Comments

  1. Wow Raja’a! I’m going through this roaler coaster right now!! But the difference is that I know it all comes from stress from the first place and for the same reason! I will also try to think positively from now on and and look after myself more.. THANK U!

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