So we went and watched Habbet Caramel last night. The movie itself was cute and all, not the deepest thing in the world but anyways, they do hit a point that inspired me to write this! Thank God because I have not been posting anything lately. The movie basically talks about this girl who starts to hear the thoughts of other women (apparently the movie is already a series and obviously all this is stolen from movies like ‘what women want’ but anyways, we try). The girl is so against plastic surgery and she believes that women should just be themselves. Let’s talk about this and how it relates to our lives. Nowadays, girls AND guys around Amman are doing everything they possibly could to impress each other (girls trying to impress or make other girls jealous, impress guys, and guys trying to impress other girls and I’m not into the world of guys and how they think about this exactly but I’m guessing to look better than other guys and seem more well off). Girls are trying to look prettier or trying to own better stuff, and it is all turning faker day by day. People are starting to pump, suck, inject, doing whatever, just so they can get there. I’m not against people looking amazing, we should, and I’m not saying we should let ourselves go, we shouldn’t, and if anyone is doing anything because it bothers them personally then I am all for it. But that’s it, it should be for you. Not for anyone else. Only for you. But shouldn’t we for once be able to be comfortable in our own skin? Shouldn’t we be able to live our lives without thinking we need to impress someone or live up to someone’s expectations? Regardless of who that is? May it be a spouse, partner, friend, social circle, whatever it is. I am a very simple girl but I am surrounded by people who live this super elite life and I find it so amusing and honestly just plain ridiculous. The fashion, jewelry and attempts at impressing each other and making each other jealous is funny. And to be able to be part of this society and not really be part of it is even funnier. It’s like you’re sitting behind the scenes and watching clowns making asses of themselves. I’ve already said that I know that guys suffer from this as well but I am a girl and am surrounded by a huge bunch of girls so I’m not going to be talking about guys, although I do know they suffer from this as well, but you write about what you know. So let’s get back to our topic. It’s funny how you see Ammani girls get envious of each other, it’s all in the eyes. They are like hawks. Isem Allah ya3ni. They scan you like there is no tomorrow but it’s so subtle that you just want to go ‘bravo!’ They memorize every single bag or piece of jewelry other girls are wearing and get other stuff that are similar? Let me tell you something so that I don’t sound like a pretentious queen who is just talking crap. A couple of years ago, I was slimmer than I am now, and I had lovely long hair that I am now attempting to get back, and I used to care so much about what I wore and how I appeared to other people. But you want to know what? I felt ugly. I felt so bad about myself and just never felt enough. I always felt like I wanted to be a stick figure and that I should conform into the whole fashion scene. It felt awful, to never be able to give yourself the love you deserve, this body that is carrying you around every single day and you are giving it all this crap for not looking like perfect beauty standards that God knows which westerner colonizer came up with, 20 years ago, you could’ve been considered ugly as a stick figure, just beeteedubz. But anyways, now I am chubbier, with shorter hair, but I feel amazing. I feel beautiful, I have never ever in my 23 years of life (except when I was young and carefree) felt so good about myself and my body. But that’s also a thing that we should talk about, no one should be shamed, we should all feel comfortable in our skin. I hate it when people think being bigger is better. I personally love curves but I hate it when people shame girls who are skinny as if it’s ugly. The point is, we should all just be comfortable in our own skin. This body is doing you a favor by putting up with you and whatever you put it through every single day. Love it, don’t shame it, don’t make it feel like it’s less simply because it’s not like other people’s bodies. You’re amazing, just the way you are, trust me, once you get over this self-hatred you will learn to love yourselves and those around you and not judge them. Even those idiot girls I am talking about, I only feel sorry for, and amused, but no hatred or contempt there. I promise. I should probably add that this is no way written to piss anyone off, and is not about anyone in particular but you know what they say, اللي ع راسو بطحة….. Anyways, this is just my opinion on the topic and you may take it or leave it. It’s honestly just tough love. I think what I’m ultimately trying to say is just live and let others live.