I want to research to find out what it is that is currently going on with me, I thought it was writer’s block but it’s not. It’s the exact opposite. I have so much that I’m thinking about but I can’t articulate anything. It’s like my mind is all over the place and everytime I sit down to write something I can’t articulate any of it. It just won’t come out. The notes app on my phone is so full of ideas and every day I’m getting new ideas but whenever I sit down to write it’s like, blank. Nothing. Raja’ you were just thinking about all this stuff what is the matter why aren’t you able to type it. I think everything’s just been so hectic lately that I’m not getting enough peace of mind to be able to really organize my thoughts and write them all down. Because it is quite a whirlwind in there and it feels like it needs some serious organization. Some ta3zeel. Well at least I’m writing this. I’ll just think of this as me thinking out loud and you all being kind enough to read this. Actually. Let’s just do this. My tenth grade English teacher once had us do this exercise where we just had to keep writing for 10 minutes non-stop and he said that we had to keep going and write down whatever the hell it was that we were thinking and just not stop. I am going to attempt this now. But only for five minutes. Maybe it’ll bring along some clarity? Or just make me clean out my head a bit. Ta3zeel my friend. Okay let’s set our timer to 5 minutes. Okay we’ve started so the first thing I’m thinking about is this thing my dad once said about my friends and I he hates how fast we all talk and Duaa as well and he’s like it’s because of how much Gilmore Girls we watch and honestly I don’t mind that because I love Gilmore Girls and I love how witty Lorelai and Rory are with conversation and obviously not them but the person who’s written the script Amy Sherman Palladino was it or something anyways yes that is some really good dialogue I mean the kind of references they make, I did not understand half of them when I was younger but I mean it takes some skill and some actual wordliness to be able to know all this kind of information and write it down in script. Anyways for some reason the BBC Pride and Prejudice mini series just came into mind see I told you there’s so much weirdness that goes on in my head the last time I watched this was maybe 4 years ago and now I’m thinking of the time where I had the worst flu and the only thing that kept me going was that show along with Earl Grey and lemon you know how great is Earl Grey I think it is really my most favorite tea but when it’s really strong not the shit kind, actally come to think of it we only have the light flavor one at home I should really get the strong flavored one and now I am really not sure what I am thinking of I am listening to Rockabye baby while typing this and now I am thinking of the lyrics to the song and how empowering they are ah okay let’s go back to more fun things oooh yes Pride and Prejudice I am so in love with this novel and with Jane Austen’s stuff in general and Mr Darcy and now I am thinking of Bridget Jones and how lfunny the first two movies were the third was absolute crap but it was funny because it was so bad ino it’s the kind of movie you need to watch with someone so you can make fun of it and I did with Mama and Duaa and it was absolutely hilarious I love how omg ok the alarm just went off but I am so enjoying this that I let it repeat this is so damn liberating so anyways funny thing is it’s so funny that when I was a kid there were so many things that I wasn’t allowed to watch or listen to because I was the baby in the house and honestly let’s face it I was such a whimp. I rememeber watching the Lord of the Rings with my brothers and sister and not being able to go to bed that night until my mum let me play video games so I’d forget everything I’d just watched and I remember going to watch the Matrix with them and having them take me home 15 minutes in, to be exact it was when Mr Smith would put the bug inside I forgot Keanu Reave’s character’s name but yes and his lips just close off and I have a thing where I find belly buttons creepy and ever since then I’ve always had this irrational fear of having insects entering my body in the most random places but anyways to be honest when I think of it now wow did I mess up their lives as a kid, probably ruined a lot of activities for them and they loved me anyways well kudos ya jama3a that’s really nice of you. Ah yes back to why I was talking about this in the first place it’s that when I was a kid they wouldn’t share stuff with me because I was ‘too young’ or whatever and honestly I can’t blame them but that is the nice thing about growing up now we’re all like sharing everything and it’s definitely not like that anymore now I’m censoring myself so I’m going to move on because it’s not liberating to feel like I’m censoring myself and it just goes against this exercise and omg the timer just went off again but this is too much fun and I honestly wonder if anyone would still be reading by now I mean is this fun or is it just fun for me, obviously it is more fun for me but I wonder if It’s fun to take a walk around someone’s messy brain. Ahhhh yes so you know who ruined my innocence my innocence with movies as a kid? Widad! I remember I wasn’t allowed to watch the sixth sense and she was like Raja’, we gotta do this. I think she ruined it to me and told me that Bruce Willis was dead at the very beginning of the movie, it seems she hasn’t grasped the concept of spoiler alerts yet but I think we were in first grade or something so I’ll let it slide, anyways I’m not sure what I’m thinking now I just had to change the music because it was shuffling and some weird stuff was playing and I was not enjoying it so now what I’m thinking is that I love the sound of my fingers hitting the keyboard but I can’t hear them because I’m listening to music but I’m wondering what would be more fun to listen to the music or them but anyways not stopping the music anytime soon il muhem now I’m just thinking that I think I’d like for the timer to go off and I am so happy about this exercise and that it is something I should do more often so that the crap would come out and then maybe I’ll just be left with actual thoughts and omg I did no let my mind wander to other things because there is so much that I can’t actually say for you all to read so I am thinking maybe I should do a version of this that is only for me where I don’t share it anywhere and there I could get rid of all the other crap but then this is the light nice small talk stuff I’m afraid if I start to think of the other things it would be too much for me to think of. Okaaaaaaaaaaaaayyy the timer has went off and this has been fun. Word Vomit V1.